tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45305381297538034502024-03-13T09:23:45.423-07:00The Crabby Reviewer- Reviews and General Crabbiness, by Dan ReillyThe opinions presented on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of Crabs everywhere.The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.comBlogger588125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-80311128675006959382019-06-15T13:39:00.000-07:002019-06-15T13:39:55.707-07:00Full Throttle, by Joe Hill<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91sEItXce8L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="533" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91sEItXce8L.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
The masterful Joe Hill returns with <i><b>FULL THROTTLE</b></i>, a collection of thirteen short stories.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
The thirteen tales range from dark fantasy to horror to sci-fi, but they all share the same relentless drive and sense of momentum that Hill has become known for. The book opens with a lengthy introduction, which reads more like a chat with really interesting friend. Hill relates several anecdotes about his career, childhood, and growing up as Stephen King's son, including one story that he means to be funny, but is actually quite alarming. (The story involves King driving his young son around while drinking beer and throwing the cans out the window.) Hill also include story notes at the end of the book, which range in length from one sentence to a few pages apiece. The stories themselves vary in quality, with the worst of the bunch opening the collection.<br />
<br />
THROTTLE is a collaboration between Hill and Stephen King (One of two in the book), and is the weakest story in the collection. Originally published in a Richard Matheson tribute anthology, THROTTLE is a tribute to Matheson's DUEL, with a vengeful trucker stalking a motorcycle club along a desolate stretch of desert highway. The characters are all despicable and interchangeable, and if you've seen/read DUEL, there's nothing new to see here.<br />
<br />
DARK CAROUSEL and LATE RETURNS are Hill channeling his famous father, which he does perfectly. Both are pure Stephen King; DARK CAROUSEL tells a pitch-black tale of supernatural vengeance that could have been penned by King early in his career, while LATE RETURNS is a gentle remembrance of the ghosts of the past, which is reminiscent of King's more recent output.<br />
<br />
THE DEVIL ON THE STAIRCASE and TWITTERING FROM THE CIRCUS OF THE DEAD both play with form as they tell their tales. DEVIL is formatted in such a way that the sentences and paragraphs resemble ascending and descending staircases, while TWITTERING is told entirely in a teenaged girl's tweets, as she slowly realizes the the out-of-the-way circus that her family stumbled upon may have more going on than meets the eye.<br />
<br />
FAUN and BY THE SILVER WATERS OF LAKE CHAMPLAIN both have their literary roots in other authors. BY THE SLIVER WATERS... was originally published in a Ray Bradbury tribute anthology, and is a beautiful tribute to the legendary author. Hill tells a wonderfully understated story about two children who stumble upon the corpse of a lake monster, and debate what to do with it. Bradbury would have been proud. FAUN is a spin on C.S. Lewis' NARNIA books, and features a millionaire who leads rich hunters into an enchanted wonderland to hunt mythical beasts. FAUN is the most frustrating story in the book. While almost every story is outstanding, this is the one that I most wanted to continue.....If Mr. Hill were to expand this into a novel, or sequelize it, I would not object in the least.<br />
<br />
THIUMBPRINT and MUMS both have a militaristic bent to them: THUMBPRINT follows a disgraced vet who comes home from the desert to find herself stalked by a mysterious person sho is leaving papers with thumbprints on them in and around her home, and MUMS follows a young boy whose father is planning an act of domestic terrorism.<br />
<br />
WOLVERTON STATION is a whimsically dark story that evokes echoes of English folk horror, while ALL I CARE ABOUT IS YOU ventures into futuristic sci-fi, as a young girl, depressed about how her family's recent financial downturns will effect her birthday, finds solace in the company of a robotic friend-for-hire.<br />
<br />
The book includes a second Hill/King collaboration, IN THE TALL GRASS, another story that has the King family DNA written all over it. If the story is a little too derivative of Scott Smith's THE RUINS, well.....at least it is a well-told, riveting derivation. Another story that ended with me wanting more.<br />
<br />
Hill closes out the collection with YOU ARE RELEASED, which really hit me hard. The story follows a plane full of people who discover that World War III may have broken out while the were airborne. He doesn't take up a lot of space with this tale, but he manages to create a plane full of real people, and avoids the easy stereotypes. Closing the book with this story really gave me a lot to think about. (This book also includes the literary equivalent of a motion picture after-credits scene, so stay tuned.)<br />
<br />
Hill writes a great novel, but his short stories are where he really excels. In his introduction, Hill surmises that he probably has another few dozen short stories in him before he calls it a day.....I hope it turns out to be a lot more than that.<br />
<br />
HarperCollins provided a review copy.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><b>FULL THROTTLE </b></i>earns a mighty nine out of ten devil heads:<br />
😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0062200674&asins=0062200674&linkId=0023309471096ccfa798736ff45d1fc0&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B078R3DGFT&asins=B078R3DGFT&linkId=d373124144bdaf6dbb9479923f512400&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-49251254995303750232019-05-30T13:37:00.000-07:002019-05-30T13:37:02.119-07:00We Sold Our Souls, by Grady Hendrix<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91eJZM-2bHL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="533" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91eJZM-2bHL.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I love Horror. I love Rock. And yet....I avoid the sub-genre of Horror-Rock like a plague. Why...? I've never really been able to put my finger on it, but the new novel by Grady Hendrix, <i><b>WE SOLD OUR SOULS</b></i>, helped me to finally nail it down. I'm not a musician, but I know what I like, and most novels that dip their toe into musical waters come off as wish-fulfillment on the author's part. Did anyone ever read Stephen King's THE STAND and think "Man, that Larry Underwood tune really hits the sweet spot!"....?<br />
<br />
Baby, can you dig your man? He's a righteous man. Baby, can you dig your man?<br />
<br />
No. I can't. Every author/frustrated musician that tries a music-based novel ends up doing something like this:<br />
<br />
<i>"His hands ran over the surface of the Fender Stratocaster, lovingly caressing the long, supple neck, feeling the sharpness of the strings bite into his fingertips as he slowly picked out the opening chords of Ozzy's "Over the Mountain". He picked up speed, fingers racing past A and G, into the high C range, stepping on the wawa pedal, making the amps scream like a chorus of damned souls wailing away in hell...." </i><br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
I received an ARC of <i><b>WE SOLD OUR SOULS</b></i> almost a year ago, and as much as I loved my prior exposures to Grady Hendrix (The brilliant MY BEST FRIEND'S EXORCISM and PAPERBACKS FROM HELL), I just could not bring myself to crack it open until this past week. I should have trusted Hendrix more....my bad.<br />
<br />
Yeah, there's a LOT of music in this novel. There's a little bit of Inside Baseball guitar playing info that had me worried early on, but when considering that a good portion of the book revolves around a lost heavy metal record, and the individual songs on that record, Hendrix does an amazing job of making the music almost scream off of the page. <br />
<br />
Hendrix has crafted an unholy amalgam of Faust, The Lord of The Rings, and Phantom of The Paradise, with washed-up rocker Kris Pulaski making a cross-country trek to confront her old bandmate Terry Hunt, who has gone on to become a mega-star, leaving Kris and the rest of the band to eat his dust. Kris has been languishing away working the front desk of a Best Western hotel, and when she learns that Terry is planning a massive series of farewell concerts, she begins to remember bits and pieces about the last night that the band spent together twenty years ago. With nothing to lose, Kris sets about getting the band back together to confront Terry, and to finally figure out exactly what happened on that last night together.<br />
<br />
Considering the name of the book, it isn't exactly a surprise to discover that Terry sold his bandmate's souls in exchange for fortune and glory, but even knowing that a supernatural element is going to come into play eventually, Hendrix does a masterful job of stringing the reader along, making you wonder if this is really happening as is, or is it just a jealousy-fueled fantasy that Kris has concocted to justify her miserable circumstances. Make no mistake, there are moments of pure horror on display here, including a lengthy sequence that set off my claustrophobia something fierce, but the character work is what really keeps the book humming along. Everyone felt real, and Hendrix does such a masterful job of making the lyrics of the lost album, Troglodyte, seem like they could really exist that I could practically hear the roaring guitar riffs and feel the pounding drums. Amazing work.<br />
<br />
I considered MY BEST FRIEND'S EXORCISM and PAPERBACKS FROM HELL to be absolutely perfect books, and <b><i>WE SOLD OUR SOULS</i></b> doesn't quite measure up to those standards. Close, but no cigar. There are a few early chapters spent with a side character that kind of took me away from the main narrative. She comes into play towards the end of the book, but the way she arrives there was a trifle inelegant. I get why she was there, and why we may or may not have needed so much of her backstory, but it did detract from the overall flow of the book. Just a little, but enough to make me ding a star from the near-perfect rating.<br />
<br />
Overall, though....another absolute winner from Grady Hendrix, which earns a whopping nine out of ten Black Iron Mountains:<br />
⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰<br />
<br />
Quirk provided a review copy.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B078LRC6GP&asins=B078LRC6GP&linkId=9328d7a0a927de16361d59d2f02768a3&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-18917268299857144882019-04-09T10:09:00.000-07:002019-04-09T10:09:19.058-07:00Justice League Dark, Vol. 1: The Last Age of Magic <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/512qtiph6dL._SX323_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="325" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/512qtiph6dL._SX323_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
I love weird hodge-podge teams like this.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
And, if you're assembling a magic-based Justice League team that is firmly based in the mainstream DC Universe, who better to be the superhero representative than Wonder Woman?<br />
<br />
I've been taking a hard pass on most of DC's recent output. In fact, I've pretty much given up on all new comics coming from Marvel and DC in favor of picking up tricked-out collected editions of old favorites or storylines that I regretted missing the first time around. But the lineup of this book proved too intriguing to resist. Zatanna and Detective Chimp, PLUS Wonder Woman....? Sign me up!<br />
<br />
I've never been a fan of writer James Tynion IV. His output, in my opinion, has ranged from awful and derivative to merely adequate. But he really shines here in <i><b>JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK, VOL. 1: THE LAST AGE OF MAGIC</b></i>, delivering the closest approximation to a Vertigo story that DC has seen since they rolled out "The New 52" and absorbed John Constantine and Swamp Thing back into their main superhero universe.<br />
<br />
I won't dwell too much on the story (Massive magical threat forces The Justice League to set up a supernatural spinoff group), suffice to say that I found it to be superbly executed. Tynion IV seems to have really found his footing as a writer, or else he's just really taken with this concept and particular group of characters. The characters that he has chosen to round out this team are all excellent picks (Detective Chimp, Wonder Woman, Zatanna, Man-Bat, and Swamp Thing, who now looks like a green Alan Moore.....), and it was delightful to see DC's supernatural archives broken busted open, allowing appearances by The Phantom Stranger, Eclipso, Zauriel, Sargon The Sorcerer, Zatara, Baron Winter, Blue Devil, Nightshade, John Constantine, The Parliament of Trees, Black Orchid, and Doctor Fate, among others. The art is excellent (Sooooo many double-page spreads, though....), and I had a blast reading this book. The inevitable complaints.....<br />
<br />
....as usual, DC has no idea how to collect a book. This volume collects issues 1-3 and 5-7. Where's #4, you ask? In DC's THE WITCHING HOUR collection. Which is NOT OUT YET. Yes, DC waited a whole three months before doing the mandatory epic crossover....way to roll out a new, otherwise new-reader-friendly, title, folks. This collection skips #4, and the rest of the crossover, entirely, opting instead for a small one-paragraph recap. As shitty as THE WITCHING HOUR was (It consisted of two one-shots, one JLD issue, and two WONDER WOMAN issues, all written by Tynion, who delivers the kind of bland shit that I had come to know him for), it is essential reading if you're going to keep up with this title. Hell, it is essential reading if you want to read the last half of THIS COLLECTION. I don't really see what the point of the crossover was, as it all could have been easily accomplished in the pages of JLD. It had the vibe of an editorially-mandated event, though, since Tynion IV seems to have been totally tuned-out during it. He pulls it back together once the crossover ends, thankfully, but....this is a pure cash grab, and it is bound to irritate and upset readers who pick up this collection expecting to get every issue of the series. At the very least, DC should have included issue #4, had a MUCH longer recap, and told readers where to go to get the complete story. Shit like this is why I've mostly given up on current comics.<br />
<br />
Overall, a VERY solid first volume, marred by a pointless crossover and a senseless omission. The creepy-factor is strong here, the characters are winners, and I am dying to see more of "The Upside-Down Man". I'm in for Volume 2.<br />
<br />
<i><b>JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK, VOL. 1: THE LAST AGE OF MAGIC</b></i> earns a solid nine out of ten cursed grimoires:<br />
🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮<br />
<br />
DC Comics provided a review copy.<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1401288111&asins=1401288111&linkId=f3593658b6985d66be5c608c3be89d47&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07NZ2CYD5&asins=B07NZ2CYD5&linkId=31169ad072255bec8c0d95008eba92ac&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-64871441028880016052019-03-10T11:41:00.001-07:002019-03-10T11:41:22.752-07:00Captain Marvel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/36/590x/secondary/Captain-Marvel-international-poster-1724182.jpg?r=1549376910515" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/36/590x/secondary/Captain-Marvel-international-poster-1724182.jpg?r=1549376910515" width="216" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
As the very fabric of geekdom is ripped asunder by charges of sexism, your Crabby Reviewer weighs in with a fair and balanced review.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
This was not a good movie.<br />
<br />
I'm not particularly invested in this iteration of the Captain Marvel character. I discovered the original, male, version of the character when Marvel released Jim Starlin's THE DEATH OF CAPTAIN MARVEL graphic novel in 1982, the success of which led to deluxe reprints of Starlin's WARLOCK and CAPTAIN MARVEL work from the '70s. I primarily know the Carol Danvers character from her appearances in THE AVENGERS and UNCANNY X-MEN in the '80s, as Ms Marvel, Binary, and later Warbird. I enjoyed her well enough, and felt that she really came into her own as a character when Kurt Busiek made her a member of his Avengers team: A deeply flawed character who struggled with alcoholism and feelings of worthlessness, who overcame her issues and became a core member of the team. I've never read any of her more recent adventures as the new Captain Marvel. So I really have no axe to grind. I am relating my feelings as a moviegoer who paid for a ticket, not as a disgruntled male.<br />
<br />
As always, there will be <span style="color: red;"><u><i><b>SPOILERS</b></i></u><span style="color: black;"> ahead, so if you haven't seen the movie, be warned. (If you're intending to see the movie, go see it and then come back. It's OK. I'll wait for you.)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> The film starts on Hala, the Kree homeworld, and we are immediately immersed in full-blown geekiness as Bree Larson's character, known on Hala as "Vers", spars with her commander Yon-Rogg (Jude Law), communes with The Supreme Intelligence (Annette Bening), and goes on a mission with her team, which includes GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY baddie Korath The Pursuer, played again by Djimon Hounsou. (I wondered if this cold-opening would make audience members who aren't familiar with the comics feel confused/left out, and my wife later confirmed that that was indeed the case, at least with her.) A battle ensues, and it was right about this time when I lowered my expectations from GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY to IRON MAN 2 and 3. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> Vers is captured by our favorite shape-shifting Marvel bad guys, The Skrulls (Yay, Skrulls!) More fighting happens, and Vers is marooned on Earth. Vers crashes into a Blockbuster Video, and my inner geek perked up when S.H.I.E.L.D. dispatches agents Fury and Coulson to the scene of the crash. Coulson doesn't have much of a part to play, but it was great to see him again on the big-screen. Fury, however, joins Vers on a road trip to find a missing scientist that is being sought by The Skrulls, turning a sci-fi epic into a buddy cop movie. (This was, undoubtedly, the best part of the movie for me. Samuel L. Jackson is always fun to watch, but seeing a young, idealistic Nick Fury in action was pure gold, and their interactions were the few times that Larson ever exhibited any real personality.)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> If you're seen the commercials or trailers, you already know that Vers is really Carol Danvers, an earthling Air Force pilot. Fury and Danvers seek out her fellow pilot Maria Rambeau, who joins them on their quest to find the power source discovered by the missing scientist, who turns out to be a Kree spy, known as Mar-Vell, also played by Annette Bening. The power source, of course, is The Tesseract, which we've seen before.....</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> The Skrulls, led by the wonder Ben Mendelsohn, also provide a swerve, as they're not the warmongering race that we're expecting, but cosmic Mexicans running up against the Supreme Intelligence's outer-space Trump wall. A really heavy-handed allegory, but I ran with it. This leads to yet more fighting, as Carol fights her old Kree allies, flies around blowing stuff up in space, and then has an underwhelming one-on-one with Jude Law (The shots of Carol flying around in space are REALLY unconvincing......in addition to being terribly shot and flat-looking in general, the film has some truly sub-par effects.)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> The movie ends with a paradox: It feels like it has gone on forever, but nothing is resolved....when the credits roll, it almost seems like we are at the halfway point. She just sends Yon-Rogg back to Hala with a good scolding? Why not turn him over to S.H.I.E.L.D.? No confrontation with The Supreme Intelligence? No shot of The Supreme Intelligence as a giant tentacled floating head in a jar?</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://d2sq9s7lvsi28w.cloudfront.net/images/SupremeIntelligenceEnough.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://d2sq9s7lvsi28w.cloudfront.net/images/SupremeIntelligenceEnough.jpg" data-original-height="477" data-original-width="403" height="320" width="270" /></a></div>
(I never really knew that I wanted to see The Supreme Intelligence onscreen, but now, having been deprived of the opportunity, I consider it one of the great MCU missed opportunities, right up there with not seeing Arnim Zola look like this:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/Arnim_Zola.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="375" height="204" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/Arnim_Zola.PNG" width="320" /></a></div>
and not seeing the legendary M.O.D.O.K. in a film yet.<br />
<br />
I expected the film to tie into AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR and AVENGERS: ENDGAME at least a little, instead of not at all, which is what we got. The supposed easter egg of Cull Obsidian wearing Captain Marvel's sash in INFINITY WAR?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Cull-Obsidian-Sash-in-Infinity-War-with-Captain-Marvel.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=798&h=407" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="407" data-original-width="798" height="163" src="https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Cull-Obsidian-Sash-in-Infinity-War-with-Captain-Marvel.jpg?q=50&fit=crop&w=798&h=407" width="320" /></a></div>
Nope. Thanos? Nope. An explanation of where Danvers has been for over two decades? Nope. Instead, we get groundwork laid for THE AVENGERS (The Tesseract) and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (Ronan The Accuser), and an ending that hints at more flashback adventures, but.....I'm really not interested in another film showing where Carol has been for two plus decades. This was their opportunity. The ship has now sailed.<br />
<br />
The first credits scene is a kind of a gyp, as it appears to just be a scene lifted from ENDGAME. The second one was a short, literal gag scene, which made me wonder why Fury, now aware of the threat of hostile alien intelligences, lets a dangerous alien, who has INGESTED THE TESSERACT, just roam freely around S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. And the way that Fury lost his eye was ridiculous.....his face is clawed by the aforementioned dangerous alien, and he....just eats dinner? Did he wash the fucking wound? He seems very unconcerned, even after his eye just...rots out? Fuck that cat.<br />
<br />
This is where I get branded an incel/neckbeard/basement dweller: The main flaw of the film is Bree Larson. She exhibits almost zero range or charisma in her role. (I say "almost" because she seems to suddenly come to life in her scenes with the young actress who portrays Monica Rambeau. She becomes animated, infused with personality and energy...and then it vanishes as soon as the kid does.) If it helps my case, my wife agreed (She did not like the film), as did my Nephew John, a twenty-something who DID enjoy the film. (As John said, and I paraphrase "It was an OK film, but, yeah, she did seem to be lacking charisma") I don't know if this is the fault of the script or Larson's acting ability....I have only seen her previously in SCOTT PILGRIM, where she made so little impression that I honestly have no memory of her being in the film, and KONG: SKULL ISLAND, where she seemed....OK. I was honestly more interested in the giant ape, but even without Kong, she was out of her league against John Goodman, Tom Hiddleston, and Sam Jackson. But, IMO, Marvel made a big mistake by not course-correcting after seeing a few days worth of footage, and either replacing Larson or trying to figure out some way to make her more interesting onscreen. As I said, I went in with high hopes, but this was definitely one of Marvel's more sub-par efforts. (My wife said "It almost seems like they had to slap a film together to make sure we had seen her before she flies in and saves the day against Thanos." In the interest of fairness, my sixteen-year-old daughter and ten-year-old son both loved the film.<br />
<br />
I'll leave you with this question and observation. After the film, we went to my Mom's house to celebrate my Dad's birthday. When she asked me if I liked the film, my mother told me that she had read that this was an important film, because it "empowered women". I said "Mom, you're almost seventy.....you raised me alone, you worked like a dog, you put up with sexism and bosses that hit on you and treated you like a second-class citizen. You overcame all that, fought and scratched your way through life.....would seeing a fucking film with a flying woman empower you? She chuckled and said "Yeah, I get your point." Living life should empower you, not seeing a movie. I grew up watching Stallone and Schwarzenegger kill millions of enemies, and I never left those films feeling empowered to be a man. If anything they left me feeling like a fat, inadequate frump. If you're counting on a movie to empower you, something is wrong with you, and with how you're living your life. (My Mother also asked me if, when I was a kid, it even occurred to me that a woman could BE a superhero...I stared at her slack-jawed, and started rattling off "Mom.....Wonder Woman, Liberty Belle, The Black Widow, The Scarlet Witch, Jocasta, Moondragon, Mantis, Gamora, Catwoman, The Invisible Woman, Ms. Marvel, She-Hulk.....I could go on and on. They were there."<br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> I'm not going to tell you not to see this film.....It wasn't terrible. but it was very average and meh. Your mileage may vary. I give <i><b>CAPTAIN MARVEL </b></i>four out of ten alien cats, a poor showing for a Marvel movie, and one that I hope isn't indicative of the future output of Marvel Studios:</span></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> 🙀🙀🙀🙀</span></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">(Two of those four are due to the tribute to Stan Lee that opens the film, which made me cry like a baby.) </span></span><br />
The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-37735648787215221512019-02-05T17:24:00.002-08:002019-02-05T17:32:33.415-08:00The Boy at the Keyhole, by Stephen Giles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81enlaGPduL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="529" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81enlaGPduL.jpg" width="211" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A staggeringly good psychological thriller.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Stephen Giles' <i><b>THE BOY AT THE KEYHOLE </b></i>is being marketed as his "first work for adults". This is one hell of a debut.....<br />
<br />
Coming from a background of children's fiction, Giles perfectly captures the voice and mindset of his main character, nine-year-old Samuel Clay, a lonely child who comes to believe that his housekeeper has murdered his mother. The novel is told completely from Samuel's point of view, and his story is both compelling and heartbreaking. With his father dead and the family business failing, Samuel's beloved mother leaves their English country home in the dead of night, sailing to America to try to raise funds to save their steel mill and estate. Samuel is left in the care of their emotionally distant housekeeper, Ruth, and as the months go by, with only the occasional postcard from his mother in America, he begins to suspect that perhaps there is something more sinister afoot: His mother would never willingly leave him, so what if she was murdered? What if Ruth is the murderer?<br />
<br />
Giles' story unfolds like a taut one-set play. The majority of the book takes place in the Clay home, with Samuel and Ruth center stage. A handful of other characters pop in and out, but the bulk of the story focuses on the emotionally fraught relationship between the child and his caregiver, as Samuel dwells on perceived oddities with Ruth's behavior and small clues that he picks up on, and Ruth grows less and less tolerant of Samuel's acting out. By focusing solely on Samuel's POV, Giles ramps up the tension, and offers a heartbreaking quandary for readers: Whether or not Ruth murdered Mrs. Clay, what can Samuel, who depends completely on Ruth, do about it? My heart broke for this poor child, scared and alone, obsessed with the possibility of a loss of unimaginable magnitude.<br />
<br />
There is some magnificent work being done here by Giles, and the story plays out like a claustrophobic stage play or a forgotten 1960's mystery movie. I can usually see the end coming a mile away, and Giles not only managed to deliver a few unexpected moments in the finale, but he also gave me a lot to chew over after I closed the book. I've seen other reviewers complaining about being confused by the ending, or else that the ending was a letdown, or too confusing.....without getting into spoilers, everything is there for careful, patient readers to find. I've gone over the ending two or three times since I finished the book, because it is so impeccably done. This is the kind of book that I'll be urging friends and family to read. Highly, highly recommended.<br />
<br />
<i><b>THE BOY AT THE KEYHOLE</b></i> earns a nail-biting nine out of ten rabbits:<br />
🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇 <br />
<br />
Hanover Square Press provided a review copy.<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B0781P7HWF&asins=B0781P7HWF&linkId=a168ccd1ea571f1579f17f4fcd2b6056&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1335652922&asins=1335652922&linkId=98655a43d6137107716ac6dc1dd6893e&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-90378023719418585102019-01-25T14:23:00.000-08:002019-01-25T14:23:10.148-08:00Like Unto a Thing of Iron, Part Six: The Defenders, Vol. 1: Diamonds Are Forever<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51m1scTlO4L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="325" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51m1scTlO4L.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Defending the streets at a glacial pace.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Created to cash in on the Netflix DEFENDERS series, this Brian Michael Bendis vehicle, on the surface, has a lot going for it, not the least of which are longtime fan-favorite characters and beautiful art by David Marquez. This should have been a slam-dunk.<br />
<br />
Instead, it is more of the same from Bendis. Characters who are all written with the same voice, heroes who sit around talking when they should be acting, long stretches where nothing at all happens.....This is truly Bendis at his most self-indulgent. Hopefully the cross-country move to DC will reinvigorate him. I'll probably never know, because I've reached the limits of my tolerance for super-decpmpressed stories like this one.<br />
<br />
<i><b>THE DEFENDERS, VOL. 1: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER</b></i> collects THE DEFENDERS #1-5 and the story from Free Comic Book Day 2017. (I'll never forget that particular Free Comic Book Day, since that was when my then-eight-year-old son first expressed an interest in visiting a comic-book store. We took him after seeing SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING, and he picked up the very cartoony-looking GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY FCBD book, which appeared very kid-friendly. Well.......the DEFENDERS story that made up the flip-side of that issue was NOT very kid-friendly, with cursing and explicit violence. Lesson learned!) The gist of the series is that Daredevil, Power Man, Iron Fist, and Jessica Jones have to team up to stop Diamondback from taking over the New York City underworld.<br />
<br />
Literally nothing else happens in this book.<br />
<br />
Bendis relies very heavily on the cliffhanger crutch. The preview issue ends with Jessica Jones being shot in the stomach, at point-blank range, by a gun the size of a small child. The bullet goes into her stomach, comes out her back, and takes a not inconsiderable amount of tissue and meat with it. Next issue? Jessica is up and around fighting crime with no explanation of how or why she is still alive, aside from the fact that she was taken to a hospital. Another issue ends with Diamondback snapping Iron Fist's spine over his knee, much like Bane did to Batman. Iron Fist is back in action fighting as soon as the next issue opens. The characters joke about him having a broken back, but no explanation is given.<br />
<br />
Other puzzlers:<br />
<br />
Why is The Black Cat, a happy, go-lucky cat-burglar turned crimefighter, running the New York City<br />
underworld? With Hammerhead as her lackey, no less...?<br />
<br />
Who the fuck is Diamondback, and how is he alive?<br />
<br />
Why does no one know Daredevil's secret identity anymore?<br />
<br />
How is Bendis able to fill six issues with nothing?<br />
<br />
It seemed like a lot was going on, but when I closed the book, I realized that the heroes are in <i>the exact same spot </i>that they were in the beginning of the book. NOTHING....HAPPENED. Yeah, there were some beautifully illustrated action sequences, courtesy of artist David Marquez, but they accomplished nothing. They start the book off wondering where Diamondback is and how he is alive, and they end the book wondering where Diamondback is and how he is alive. In between, a lot of characters all speaking in the same smart-ass voice. Seriously, I have been reading Marvel Comics for nearly five decades (Ouch.), and these characters just don't talk like this. The Punisher appears for no reason, Elektra appears for no reason, Blade appears for a reason that makes no sense, Ultimate Spider-man appears for....a reason?...that is never explained, but is probably following up on something that happened in his book. (Editors: Footnotes referring readers to where they can follow up on threads like this HELP TO SELL COMICS. Just a thought.) As usual, Bendis mercilessly pads the book with endless faux-interviews, magazine articles, and newspaper editorials. All written in <i>THE EXACT SAME FUCKING VOICE. </i>(Honestly, there were times when I had no idea who was saying what, because the dialogue, attitude, and sarcasm were all the same, no matter who the speech balloons were pointing to. And that cliffhanger....? Really? After seeing Jessica shrug off a gunshot that left a fist-sized exit wound, I'm supposed to get worked up over an off-screen shooting...? Please.)<br />
<br />
<i> </i><br />
<i> </i>I paid $2.25 for the digital collection, and that was too much. The digital copy of the second volume is currently $8.95. If it were .99, I might splurge on a copy, if only to see who is behind the whole Diamondback nonsense, because I'm still a sucker for knowing the whole story. Until such a drastic price cut, I'll just have to wonder.....<br />
<br />
<i><b>THE DEFENDERS, VOL. 1: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER </b></i>was a pointless waste of time, and earns a measly four out of ten diamonds:<br />
♢♢♢♢<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1302907468&asins=1302907468&linkId=18b0bba28c17c178aba5c4d0ddf9f928&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B077J99FJS&asins=B077J99FJS&linkId=a5cfb8d0fccea06f0d443ec96be452b6&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-7277852054381734332019-01-22T17:49:00.001-08:002019-01-22T17:49:41.862-08:00Like Unto a Thing of Iron, Part Five: Essential Power Man and Iron Fist, Vol. 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1347399881l/5192873.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="261" height="320" src="https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1347399881l/5192873.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
A classic run from the '80s concludes here.<br />
<a name='more'></a> POWER MAN AND IRON FIST is one of the true underrated gems of the Jim Shooter era at Marvel Comics, and Mary Jo Duffy is a forgotten comic-book genius. Shooter's reign at Marvel had a lot of standout creators working on a lot of breakout books, and if it weren't for Chris Claremont, John Byrne, Frank Miller, John Romita, Jr., and all of the other massive talent that was running wild at Marvel, Mary Jo Duffy could have been a legend. Her work on this title deserves to be mentioned alongside Miller's DAREDEVIL, Stern's AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, and the Claremont/Byrne X-MEN. It was that good, and it holds up.<br />
<br />
Ably assisted by artist Kerry Gammill and inker Ricardo Villamonte, Duffy's team of hapless "Heroes for Hire" encounter crazed super-powered assassins, vampires, Time-Lords and evil robots, villainous mountaineers, swashbuckling Zorro wannabes, and a mad slasher who is waaaay more than meets the eye. Unfortunately, the perfection of the Duffy/Gammill/Villamonte team only accounts for a scant three issues in this collection, and when Gammill and Villamonte leave, the chemistry is thrown off, and the book never quite recovers. (The bulk of this amazing collaboration is collected in the first volume.)<br />
<br />
Gammill and Villamonte were one of those art teams that clicked in juuuust the right way. Finding a new issue of POWER MAN AND IRON FIST on the newsstands as a kid was a joyous occasion. Why Gammill isn't hailed as one of the all-time great pencillers is beyond me. I'm not sure why he left the book, and I'm not sure where he ended up after he left, but if Marvel had moved him onto a higher-profile series, the sky would have been the limit. Ditto for Duffy, whose imaginative plots and snappy dialogue would have been right at home in one of the Spider-Man family of books.<br />
<br />
Denys Cowan takes over the art chores after Gammill departs, and.....the man is a good artist, but I never quite warmed to his scratchy style. Duffy sticks around for a few issues, but you can tell that the spark was gone, and her last issues seems rushed, as she struggles to tie up all of her dangling plot threads with a few hasty lines of exposition.<br />
<br />
She is succeeded by Denny O'Neil, who is later replaced by Kurt Busiek, in what must be some of his earliest work. For a newcomer, Busiek's work is surprisingly readable. The O'Neil issues are serviceable, and include possibly the weirdest crossover ever, as Cage and Iron Fist are hired to find Moon Knight, who is trapped in a water tower (!). Cowan sticks around for a bit, and is replaced by Ernie Chan and inker Mike Mignola, contributing some of <i>his </i>earliest work. The bulk of this collection is fun, readable stuff, but none of it holds a candle to the Duffy/Gammill/Villamonte issues that open the volume.<br />
<br />
On a side note, POWER MAN AND IRON FIST #78 is forever burned into my mind as being one of my most-read comics from my childhood.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/0/0d/Power_Man_and_Iron_Fist_Vol_1_78.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110531033551" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="622" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/0/0d/Power_Man_and_Iron_Fist_Vol_1_78.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110531033551" width="205" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I read and reread this issue until it was falling apart. The mystery of who the masked, animalistic slasher and his upscale partner were haunted my childhood. Gammill's visual of the slasher in his Elephant Man sack captured my imagination like nothing I had ever read before. This issue is truly one of the greatest single issues ever published. (The identities of the slasher and his buddy would be revealed in six months, in issue #84. I had no idea who either of these men were back when I first read these issues, but the reveal is a pretty big one, in hindsight.)<br />
<br />
<i><b>ESSENTIAL POWER MAN AND IRON FIST, VOL. 2</b></i> collects POWER MAN AND IRON FIST #'s 76-100, and DAREDEVIL #178, and is a fun throwback to a kinder, gentler age of comics, and earns a healthy seven out of ten sweet Christmas trees:<br />
🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0785130721&asins=0785130721&linkId=4d0b3f68c1583a187f2bc1b75c1f151a&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-47673937564624741632019-01-02T14:25:00.000-08:002019-01-02T14:25:49.293-08:00Theft by Finding: Diaries, 1977-2012, by David Sedaris<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51JduGCSJkL._SX323_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="325" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51JduGCSJkL._SX323_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I was first exposed to the work of David Sedaris a few years ago, when a co-worker handed me a copy of his book, WHEN YOU ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES. I had heard of Sedaris before, but had never been tempted to try any of his work. If my co-worker had merely told me to read the book, I would have nodded politely, and purposefully never given it a look. However, thanks to a character flaw that would do Sedaris proud, I am unable to refuse things that people physically hand to me. I accepted the book, and sadly sat down to read it that night, mourning all of the interesting books that I would miss out on while I read the loaner.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Needless to say, I loved the book, and I went out and bought all of his other books immediately, and they have sat unread amongst the thousands of other books that I hoard. In fact, I have been sitting on this review copy of <i><b>THEFT BY FINDING: DIARIES, 1977-2002 </b></i>for nearly two years now. (I eventually DO get to everything that I'm sent to review...I just can't promise how <i>fast</i> I'll get to it.)<br />
<br />
Sedaris pretty much tells readers in the beginning of the book that this collection of diary entries is not something that he could imagine anyone just sitting and reading straight through. He recommends dipping in and out, and that was advice that I foolishly ignored. Within a few pages, I began to think "I can't take over 500 pages of this......who did they think that this would interest?" Within a few more pages, I was completely hooked, and I hated the times when I was forced to close the book.<br />
<br />
WHEN YOU ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES left me with the impression that David Sedaris is a non-dangerous kind of deeply disturbed mentally ill person. <i><b>THEFT BY FINDING</b></i> made me wonder why I thought that.....he seems completely rational. A little neurotic, maybe. Kind of introverted. But normal. But then you get the diary entries that detail things like his nurturing and feeding the massive spiders that infested his Paris home, and the hours and hours that he spent catching flies to feed to them, like a demented Renfield, tossing them into their webs and waiting patiently for them to feast on the hapless bugs. He named these spiders. Names like Clifton, Coretta Scott, and Jerry. He offered them encouragement as they built their webs and ate their prey. He mourned them when they died. This made me think that I was probably not too far off the mark initially, when I thought he was a deeply disturbed mentally ill person.<br />
<br />
But......who wouldn't want to be friends with a person like Sedaris? Even the most mundane activity becomes engrossing and hilarious through his matter-of-fact descriptions. Aside from his world travels, Sedaris does almost nothing out of the ordinary between 1977 and 2002; His success as a writer is virtually glossed over in favor of stories about odd things that he saw or heard or experienced while walking to the store, eating out, or taking a class. I could not read this book fast enough, and it saddened me to reach the last page. This is supposed to be the first or two volumes, but the second volume is nowhere to be found. Is it forthcoming? Or is the second, and final, volume meant to cover the rest of Sedaris' life...? Please don't make me wait until you die to read more, David.<br />
<br />
Little Brown provided a review copy a long time ago. My conscience has been eased a bit now that I've finally gotten to it.<br />
<br />
<i><b>THEFT BY FINDING: DIARIES, 1977-2002 </b></i>earns an icky nine out of ten Coretta Scotts:<br />
🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B01MSBNRYA&asins=B01MSBNRYA&linkId=ea977a4a7ee1f15b61616d526a749243&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0316154725&asins=0316154725&linkId=96d48bd7d82e61f9fa85f17680fd29a2&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B01LZD935U&asins=B01LZD935U&linkId=87966d198a27b9467329a8cfb492d874&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>
The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-10144217273419755602018-12-10T08:26:00.000-08:002018-12-10T08:26:50.868-08:00The Colossal Conan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51YUkEYg1eL._SX338_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="340" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51YUkEYg1eL._SX338_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Now <i>this</i> is an omnibus!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I've been sitting on this book for over five years now, and the time finally seemed right to crack it open. Conan's profile is higher now than it has been since Dark Horse first started publishing him in the early 2000's, thanks to Marvel acquiring the license. Marvel will start publishing new and reprinted Conan material in January of 2019, and Dark Horse has been frantically milking the license for all it's worth in the last months of 2018, publishing collected edition after collected edition. So the time seemed ripe to finally sit down with this massive tome, and get my fill of barbarism.<br />
<br />
<i><b>THE COLOSSAL CONAN </b></i>collects Dark Horse's inaugural Conan series in full, issues 0-50, and is quite an impressive omnibus, both physically and content-wise.<br />
<br />
The series was a huge hit when it premiered, thanks to the pairing of superstar writer Kurt Busiek and hot artist Cary Nord, whose work was printed without inks, giving it a raw, unfinished look. Busiek has a brilliant hook on which to hang a Conan series, and it works wonderfully: The stories are framed by tales of a young Prince and his sinister advisor, who, hundreds of years after Conan's passing, find and read a series of scrolls that chronicle the life and times of King Conan of Aquilonia. Longtime fans of Conan might immediately suspect who this mysterious Wazir is, but Busiek teases the mystery along perfectly.<br />
<br />
Dark Horse has created a perfect omnibus here, storywise. While Busiek leaves about halfway through the collection, he is ably replaced by the legendary Timothy Truman, who details the circumstances surrounding Busiek's departure in his excellent afterword. Busiek left on good terms, and worked with Truman and Dark Horse to ensure a seamless transition. Busiek's storylines play out the way that he intended, so we get a full, rich reading experience, and the collection has a beginning, a middle, and an ending. Things get a little choppier and more episodic under Truman's reign, but that can easily be put off as The Prince reading The Nemedian Chronicles out of order. (There are a few issues that come out of left field, and feel like inventory stories published to avoid blown deadlines.)<br />
<br />
There is some spectacular writing and artwork on display in this collection, by luminaries such as Kurt Busiek, Timothy Truman, Cary Nord, Mike Mignola, Thomas Yeates, Tom Mandrake, Tomas Giorello, Paul Lee, Tony Harris, Ladronn, Michael Wm. Kaluta, Rafael Kayanan, Joseph Michael Linsner, Fabian Nicieza, Eric Powell, Greg Ruth, Leinil Frances Yu, and Bruce Timm. This is, hands-down, the largest book that I own, at over 1,200 pages, and weighing in at a whopping thirteen pounds.<br />
<br />
As always, Dark Horse continues their maddening trend of not including variant covers in their collections, and there is the curious omission of the 2006 Free Comic Book Day Conan story, "The Spear". The decision to not include that story is an especially curious one, considering that it was the first Conan story written by Timothy Truman, and the cover for it is included in the back of the book, as the one and only extra. It's hard to complain in an instance like this, though...for all I know, including any more pages might have been impossible, considering the fact that the book is over four inches thick. Dark Horse did not skimp on the paper stock, that's for sure, and the binding is extremely sturdy. As a completest, the missing variant covers and story do rankle....for $150.00, this should be THE final word on Dark Horse's original Conan series.<br />
<br />
<i><b>THE COLOSSAL CONAN</b></i> earns a barbaric eight out of ten wenches:<br />
👩👩👩👩👩👩👩👩<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=161655228X&asins=161655228X&linkId=6d02bf1b26720a57c51f56a0ccf05ca6&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-9426740718461043962018-11-18T07:08:00.000-08:002018-11-18T07:08:20.325-08:00Star Wars: Scum and Villainy- Case Files on The Galaxy's Most Notorious<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51RbLv-H5RL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="314" data-original-width="260" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51RbLv-H5RL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A beautifully-illustrated oddity.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
This beautiful slipcased hardcover is a true odd-duck item: A book comprised of case-history snippets and wanted posters and surveillance footage stills that tell the story of crime in the era of the STAR WARS movies, as told by three generations of a law-enforcement family.<br />
<br />
The real draw here is the art, which is all fully-painted and nearly photo-realistic. Anyone should be able to flip to any page in this book and appreciate the artistry that has gone into every page. Reading it, however....is a different story. Author Pablo Hidalgo does a good job of telling the story of the Divo family between the lines of the case files, but you have to be a true, hardcore STAR WARS fan to really appreciate all of what is going on here. It'd say that I fully understood about 1/3rd to 1/2 of what was presented in this book, and I consider myself pretty well-versed in STAR WARS lore. (At least I used to be, before Disney purged all of the extended universe stories of the past few decades from canon.) There are fun callbacks to films like SOLO and ROGUE ONE, and appearances from favorites like Boba Fett, Jabba The Hutt, Aurra Sing, Quinlan Vos, and many others that more casual fans will recognize and appreciate, but so much of this book and the so many of the characters in it were a complete mystery to me, that I had to take a few stars away. A few pages in the back telling interested readers where they could go to find out more about the characters in the book would have been appreciated, and would have helped Disney sell more books.<br />
<br />
Physically, this is a stunning production- A gorgeous hardcover printed on heavy, glossy stock, and housed in an attractive clear vinyl slipcase. (My experience as a book lover has been that slipcases like this don't hold up long, as the glue rots away, but...we'll see.) STAR WARS: SCUM AND VILLAINY- CASE FILES ON THE GALAXY'S MOST NOTORIOUS earns seven out of ten manacles:⛓⛓⛓⛓⛓⛓⛓<br />
and makes for some fun reading, and is a feast for the eyes; Just be prepared to refer to Wikipedia occasionally.<br />
<br />
Epic Ink provided a review copy<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=076036205X&asins=076036205X&linkId=9ccb2ea25b8ef7297dcf78551e83b209&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-79357937460093562962018-10-25T16:56:00.000-07:002018-10-25T17:01:08.045-07:00Frankenstein Alive, Alive: The Complete Collection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91sy2ey1SuL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="527" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91sy2ey1SuL.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The swan song of a Horror legend.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I grew up with Bernie Wrightson. His art filled my childhood. From his staggering work on Stephen King projects, such as THE STAND, CYCLE OF THE WEREWOLF, CREEPSHOW, and their pages in X-MEN: HEROES FOR HOPE to beautiful deluxe format reprints of his classic SWAMP THING stories and his collaborations with Bruce Jones, Wrightson's art was something to be treasured. I returned to his comics and books over and over again, drinking in all of his detailed work, and wishing, in vain, that I could someday be so talented.<br />
<br />
Bernie Wrightson passed away in 2017, and <i><b>FRANKENSTEIN ALIVE, ALIVE! THE COMPLETE COLLECTION </b></i>is his last professional work.Unfortunately, he was unable to complete the final issue of the four-issue limited series, but he hand-picked his successor, Kelley Jones, and the completed work stands as some of Wrightson's best ever. One double-page spread, seen below, held my complete attention for at least 5 minutes. The crocodile is staggering. (Also below, the preliminary pencil art, which I stared at even harder, since the crocodile was originally a shark....)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://art.cafimg.com/images/Category_8465/subcat_113285/pTNvPr3i_0908171434421gpadd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://art.cafimg.com/images/Category_8465/subcat_113285/pTNvPr3i_0908171434421gpadd.jpg" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.imgur.com/vWUm6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.imgur.com/vWUm6.jpg" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I have made no secret of my distaste for the work of author Steve Niles, who I feel is an overrated, talentless hack. Unfortunately, I have had to suffer through a lot of terrible Steve Niles stories to enjoy the Bernie Wrightson art that accompanied them. The good news here is that Niles and Wrightson have crafted a touching, macabre story, and Niles doesn't muck it up with awful prose. His captions and dialogue are unobtrusive, and he wisely lets Wrightson do all of the heavy lifting.<br />
<br />
Wrightson completed the first three issues, and did a good portion of the fourth, with Kelly Jones completing the remainder. I wish I could say that it was a seamless transition, but Jones, while staying faithful to the underlying vibe of the story, is unable to reconcile his minimalist style with Wrightson's hyper-detailed one. The Jones pages have an almost purple cast to them, which clashes with the muted brown patina of the Wrightson pages. I've been a fan of Kelley Jones since he first started out, and his work here is excellent, but it would have been amazing to be able to have the whole story illustrated by Wrightson. Which...we kind of do.<br />
<br />
The back of this book has reproductions of Wrightson's thumbnails, layouts, and pencils for almost all of book four, minus the last three pages, so I'm not sure why IDW and Steve Niles didn't just go with Wrightson's rough art, and have it tightened up by a compatible inker? (I think Art Adams would have killed it, personally.)<br />
<br />
The book is not perfect. The story is very small, mainly centering on the years that The Creature spends in the company of a Doctor who is not quite what he seems. Those expecting Horror writ large are in for a disappointment, as this book is basically a small slice-of-life story from the years after Mary Shelley's novel ends. The end comes very abruptly, almost as if Niles just stopped writing when Wrightson died.. The book opens with a framing device that is never returned to in the end, which just seemed....off. I get the definite impression that there was more originally intended.<br />
<br />
IDW has published this story in a large hardcover format, which suits Wrightson's hyper-detailed art perfectly. As swan songs go, this is not a bad one. Rest in peace, Mr. Wrightson, and thanks for all of the horrors.<br />
<br />
<i><b>FRANKENSTEIN ALIVE, ALIVE! THE COMPLETE COLLECTION </b></i>earns a ghastly seven out of ten monster-animating lightning bolts:<br />
🗱🗲🗱🗲🗱🗱<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i><br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1684053374&asins=1684053374&linkId=7f442ae73fd0ce1106205c44e80d0256&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07D7KQDSK&asins=B07D7KQDSK&linkId=66fce41c657cc2817bb5bad84997bbe2&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-1182697388376603622018-10-22T16:49:00.003-07:002018-10-22T16:51:19.973-07:00Hulk: World War Hulk Omnibus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51z0IXVttdL._SX337_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="339" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51z0IXVttdL._SX337_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The storyline that ruined The Hulk comes to a close.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I wasn't all that crazy about author Greg Pak's PLANET HULK epic, and this wasn't much better.<br />
<br />
Granted, the concept of PLANET HULK is a grabber: The Hulk is launched into space by a cadre of other heroes who deem him too dangerous to remain on Earth. They supposedly sent him to to an idyllic uninhabited planet that could sustain him indefinitely, but they somehow didn't figure on the massive, enraged creature they were firing into space being angry and trashing the ship, which resulted in the spacecraft going off-course, marooning him on a savage planet where The Hulk is forced to fight for his life in barbaric gladiatorial contests.<br />
<br />
The Hulk being The Hulk, he soon becomes the top dog of the arena, and eventually leads a revolt that topples the ruling class, and he sets himself up as King of Sakaar. But....since there are no happy endings for The Hulk.....the craft he arrived in mysteriously explodes, destroying Sakaar, most of the planet's citizens, and The Hulk's bride and unborn child. Hulk....smash.<br />
<br />
WORLD WAR HULK finds The Hulk and his crew of misfits ("The Warbound") headed to Earth to exact revenge on the people that sent ol' greenskin into exile, and who they blame for the destruction of Sakaar: The Illuminati. (Also known as Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic, Doctor Strange, and Black Bolt.)<br />
<br />
This all sounds very exciting, but Greg Pak is a terrible writer, so whatever can't be solely carried by the visuals sucks. The art for the main event of WORLD WAR HULK is handled by John Romita, Jr., whose work I enjoy, but....the older he gets, the blockier and harder to decipher it becomes. There were large chunks of fight scenes (And, to be honest, the bulk of the story is nothing <i>but</i> fight scenes...) that were just impenetrable shots of massive bodies pressed against one another, and I often had no idea what was being conveyed.<br />
<br />
I said above that this storyline was the one that ruined The Hulk, and I stand by that. The event was poorly thought out from the beginning. Having The Hulk basically conquer the world through alien force of arms, and then attempt to murder every superhero in New York (Saying "But they <i>deserved it</i>!!" does <u>not</u> justify attempted murder....sorry.) might make for an exciting story, but it isn't one that the character can ever come back from. And he never really has. Since being depowered at the end of this event, The Hulk has been replaced by an old man Red Hulk, some female Hulks, a teenaged Asian Hulk, he's been relaunched and relaunched again, killed, rebooted and retconned......but, to me, this story ruined the character. Sometimes, Editors need to say "Neat idea, but we can't do that." Marvel got a crowd-pleasing story out of this, at the expense of a pivotal character. Much like when they decided to make Iron Man a controlling, government-toady asshole....it took them years, and a movie, to undo the damage that they did. I didn't like it when Pak had "Heroes" turn their back on their friend and ally and shoot him into space, because it made them no better than the villains. And here, they <b>are</b> portrayed as straight-up bad guys. Doctor Strange even lets a powerful demon take control of his body, endangering the entire world, in the hope that it will kick The Hulk's ass. This is just bad, bad, stuff that ignores, and shits on, decades of Marvel continuity. After PLANET HULK, WORLD WAR HULK, ONE MORE DAY, and CIVIL WAR, the Marvel Universe, and the heroic characters that inhabited it, were no more, replaced by tribes of murderous, selfish lunatics that I no longer recognized or cared to read about.<br />
<br />
But it isn't all bad news. This book gets better as you read it. (And you should read it in order, as printed...I tried to do a chronological read, using Marvel's own preferred reading order from their <i>own website</i>. It was just a mess.) Read the main story first, then the assorted other stuff, exactly as presented here.) <i><b>HULK: WORLD WAR HULK OMNIBUS </b></i>collects WORLD WAR HULK PROLOGUE: WORLD BREAKER, WORLD WAR HULK #'s 1-5, THE INCREDIBLE HULK #'s 106-111, IRON MAN #'s 19-20, AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #s 4-5, THE IRREDEEMABLE ANT MAN #10, WORLD WAR HULK: X-MEN #'s 1-3, GHOST RIDER #'s 12-13, HEROES FOR HIRE #'s 11-15, PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #12, WORLD WAR HULK: GAMMA CORPS #'s 1-4, WORLD WAR HULK FRONT LINE #s 1-6, WORLD WAR HULK: AFTERSMASH, WORLD WAR HULK: DAMAGE CONTROL #'s 1-3, WORLD WAR HULK AFTERSMASH: WARBOUND #'s 1-5, and PLANET HULK SAGA. Whew.<br />
<br />
There's some gold in the tie-in stories. The GHOST RIDER and X-MEN issues are good, solid smash-em-ups, Dwayne McDuffie's DAMAGE CONTROL manages to be funny <u>and</u> tie up a lot of loose ends, HEROES FOR HIRE has a boatload of great action bolstered by strong characters and interpersonal relationships, and GAMMA CORPS is a nasty DIRTY DOZEN-on-Gamma-radiation slugfest. The further I got into the book, the more I enjoyed it.<br />
<br />
Overall, a shitty crossover event that yielded some great crossovers and side-stories, earning a solid seven out of ten Korg-heads:<br />
⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰⛰<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=130290812X&asins=130290812X&linkId=0c74088adc6cfc436b2460de3a76abd0&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-4857510530515748902018-10-10T13:58:00.001-07:002018-10-10T13:58:56.006-07:00Swamp Thing Halloween Horror Giant #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.dccomics.com/sites/default/files/styles/covers192x291/public/comic-covers/2018/10/WALMART_STHLWN_CV_5bb29473c88427.12955023.jpg?itok=6bNGGu0Q" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="291" data-original-width="192" src="https://www.dccomics.com/sites/default/files/styles/covers192x291/public/comic-covers/2018/10/WALMART_STHLWN_CV_5bb29473c88427.12955023.jpg?itok=6bNGGu0Q" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
My first foray into the DC/Walmart partnership.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I've been keeping an eye on the Walmart exclusive books that DC Comics has been publishing these past few months. I was, and remain, very curious to see how this experiment that has so outraged grown men who can't find these books in a comic store turns out. Has DC attracted any new readers? Have children been picking these up out of curiosity, and become interested in comics? Have ADULTS picked these up out of curiosity and become interested in comics? Are speculators and unscrupulous comic-shop owners buying them and flipping them for a profit? I need answers!!<br />
<br />
As I said, I have been keeping an eye on these books, and I generally stop by the display every weekend and check to see what they have, how many, and what condition they're in. I've pretty much dropped the floppy format, and the current DC Universe is not exactly my cup of tea, so I haven't actually picked up any of the issues yet.<br />
<br />
Until now.<br />
<br />
Give me a horror anthology comic, and I'm there.<br />
<br />
I was happy to see that the local Walmart had a nice selection of <i><b>SWAMP THING HALLOWEEN HORROR GIANT #1 </b></i>in stock, all in mint condition, in a sweet-looking Swamp Thing display.<br />
<br />
First impression: This is a great buy for $4.99. The cover stock and interior paper stock are nice and heavy (The interior pages are higher-quality than DC uses for some of their trade paperback and hardcover collected editions!), the colors are vibrant and really pop on this paper, and the amount of stories that they pack into 100 pages (Eight, for those keeping track at home...) makes for some great variety. If you don't like one story, another will be along in short order.<br />
<br />
The stories themselves were a mixed bag, but the package itself was so nice that I didn't mind very much.<br />
<br />
The main attraction here is a new Swamp Thing story by Brian Azzarello and Greg Capullo. Capullo is a phenomenal artist, but the man can't tell a story to save his life. Couple that with Azzarello's bizarre story, and I was left saying "What the fuck was the point of that...?" This reads like an intro to an ongoing series, which it may be, for all I know. (I'm pretty sure this is just a holiday one-shot, but I'd be thrilled, and down for a copy every month, if DC made this an ongoing part of the Walmart offerings.) This is sure a pretty story, but I had no clue what was going on.<br />
<br />
The rest of the book was rounded out by mostly-new-to-me reprints:<br />
<br />
Dan DiDio pens a retarded Blue Devil story that features a grown-up Charlie Brown & Linus sacrificing Snoopy to summon up The Great Pumpkin to kill The Blue Devil, who scoffed at their Halloween activities when they were all kids. The sooner DiDio gets the boot from DC, the better, but the man is the human equivalent of a cockroach....nothing can kill him. Nice art from Ian Churchill, though.<br />
<br />
Paul Dini and Dustin Nguyen deliver a pitch-black Zatanna story that may have been just a tad <i>too </i>grim for an all-ages audience.<br />
<br />
Next up is "Strange Cargo", another terrible story saved by beautiful art, provided by Dean Ormston. This one is written by Steve Niles, who has never written anything even remotely good, but is inexplicably hailed as a Horror God by the comics industry. Lex Luthor plans to unleash Zombies on Metropolis, because...why not, I guess. This story features Superman getting his ass kicked by dead people, until this classic Niles dialogue comes into play:<br />
<br />
Lois Lane:<i> "Pound 'em to dust, Superman!"</i><br />
Superman: <i>"I'm sworn never to kill. You know that, Lois!"</i><br />
<br />
Then she tells him that these obviously dead people are dead, and he's now willing to use deadly force. Except...he just rounds them all up and <i>DROPS THEM ON THE MOON......</i>Good luck to you, future lunar explorers.<br />
<br />
There's a nice little Scarecrow story by Mikey Way and Mateus up next, which is a cute spin on THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW.<br />
<br />
The best of the bunch is the J. Michael Straczynski/Jesus Saiz Demon/Aquaman team-up, which definitely brings the Halloween chills. This story alone is worth buying the book for.<br />
<br />
The book closes out with two stories I've read a million times before: The Batman Rutland Halloween Parade in-joke fest "Night of The Reaper" (Google The Rutland Halloween Parade and the related comics....), and the classic Len Wein/Berni Wrightson origin of The Swamp Thing.<br />
<br />
As I said earlier, this is a phenomenal value, and I'm even considering buying a stack of copies to hand out to trick-or-treaters on Halloween. I didn't love every story, but there was enough exceptional stories and artwork to hold my interest. I would LOVE to see DC make this a monthly addition to the Walmart shelves.<br />
<br />
<i><b>SWAMP THING HALLOWEEN HORROR GIANT #1</b></i> earns a spooky seven out of ten Elder Gods:<br />
🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑🦑<br />
The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-81845032800747129062018-10-04T12:58:00.001-07:002018-10-04T12:58:29.645-07:00The League of Regrettable Sidekicks, by Jon Morris<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.previewsworld.com/SiteImage/CatalogImage/STL094483?type=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="624" height="320" src="https://www.previewsworld.com/SiteImage/CatalogImage/STL094483?type=1" width="249" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Another winner from Jon Morris!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
You truly can find anything in comic books.<br />
<br />
In this staggering volume devoted to sidekicks both heroic and vile, you will encounter feisty baby polar bears, savage seeing eyes dogs, a fat man with a lampshade on his head, falcons, elves, nerds, fathers, robots, horses, aliens, hapless children, apes, hipsters, hippies, butlers, toys, cults, mutants, homeless people, space penguins, child comedians, giant rabbits, cavemen, child-shaped robots, sentient robot cigars, fool-pitiers, and Don freaking Rickles' twin brother. Savor every page of this deathless tome, because, chances are, you will never see 99% of these characters again as long as you live. I rarely laugh out loud when I'm reading a book, but THE LEAGUE OF REGRETTABLE SIDEKICKS gave me quite a few belly laughs. Pay particular attention to the entry for Mr. T's sidekicks, The T-Force. I had to explain to my co-workers why I was laughing hysterically in the break room.<br />
<br />
I have no idea where Jon Morris can possibly go from here, but I'll definitely be along for the ride.<br />
<br />
Quirk Books provided a review copy.<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1683690761&asins=1683690761&linkId=aba9be0ba85b646f08550dbaf139c6c1&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B079DBM3H1&asins=B079DBM3H1&linkId=7425bc23d8ce5cfdd95554af990747b0&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-51689003720845911492018-09-30T13:23:00.002-07:002018-09-30T13:23:40.743-07:00The Zombie Who Cried Human, by Brian James Freeman and Glenn Chadbourne<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/A1Lznz-khLL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/A1Lznz-khLL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The first book in a new series that will scar your children for life.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
And I say that in a good way. Kids love to be scared, and even though this isn't an in-your-face scarefest, it has some subtly disturbing stuff going on under the surface and in the background that is guaranteed to make you say "Wait...what....?".<br />
<br />
The book takes place in Romero Town, an idyllic village in the country, and centers on a small family farm. Except the farm family are all zombies. And their dog is a zombie. And everyone in Romero Town is a zombie. (I assume that zombies are the top dogs on this particular Earth.)<br />
<br />
In a cute little riff on "The Boy Who Cried Wolf", Mama and Papa Zombie have to take a day-long business trip to a neighboring town, and they leave Boy Zombie to watch over their livestock. Which is <i>a pen full of humans</i>. <u><i>That are almost ready to be harvested and sold at market.</i></u> (This is all very understated, but.....creepy.)<br />
<br />
Mama and Papa warn Boy Zombie to watch out for wild humans who may try to free their livestock, and he gets the idea to cry Human, and scare the citizens of Romero Town. He does this twice, and is suitably chastised by his Zombie brethren, and you can probably guess what happens next....<br />
<br />
The story is cute, and kids will love it. (My son is nine, and he got a kick out of reading this, especially with Halloween just around the corner.) Older readers will enjoy the undertones of Zombies raising humans to harvest, with all that implies, and Freeman and Chadbourne have a lot of fun with the premise. Chadbourne's art is a feast for the eyes, and the colors really pop. This should be a perennial Halloween read.<br />
<br />
<i><b>THE ZOMBIE WHO CRIED HUMAN</b></i> earns a ravenous eight out of ten rotted Zombie skulls:<br />
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀<br />
<br />
Cemetery Dance Publications provided a review copy.<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1587676524&asins=1587676524&linkId=a5ed0de30651df5501e248a9c5875d6b&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1587676869&asins=1587676869&linkId=3df7781a9cae67b3c6b6dcf30de4aac0&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-20402386505058604782018-09-25T14:17:00.003-07:002018-09-25T14:17:43.825-07:00Live Long and...What I Learned Along the Way, by William Shatner with David Fisher<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51wj0eIEzfL._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="328" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51wj0eIEzfL._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
William Shatner is a national treasure.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<span class="a-size-base review-text" data-hook="review-body">As I
closed this book, I looked back upon what I had just read and realized
that I have an unexplainable, unreasonable love for William Shatner. He
is one of my all-time favorite celebrities, and probably one of two
people that I'm not related to whose death, whenever it happens, will
probably hit me hard. (The other is Stan Lee....) Yeah, I've heard
stories and read books by other STAR TREK alums, I know how
self-centered and difficult he is supposed to be, how people who worked
with him back then felt that he held them back....But, I ask you, how
could you possibly sit through a William Shatner interview, or see him
on his "Reality" show , BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, and not fall in love
with this guy? He's funny, charming, self-deprecating, and seems to have
a true wisdom about him. I freakin' love this man!<br /><br /> His latest
book is packed with stories and anecdotes from his nearly nine decades
on this Earth, and, while I take celebrity self-help books with a grain
of salt, Shatner seems to be onto something here. He's not doling out
advice...In fact, he states repeatedly that you should NOT follow his
advice, but perhaps try to adapt some of his philosophies to fit you own
life. And his philosophies are simple: Appreciate every day, live your
life to the fullest, stay active, stay healthy, don't retire and
stagnate...DO something with yourself, whatever it may be, just stay
active in mind and body. These are platitudes that I can get behind. And
while I'll never be comfortable doing some of the things that Shatner
has done, and continues to do, his opinion that you should try saying
yes to things that make you uncomfortable is one that I'm going to try
to adopt.<br /><br /> Along with all of the sage wisdom, we get stories from
his life and career, and I was surprised by just how raw some of these
reminisces get....not in a tell-all, shocking way, but he shares some
memories from his childhood and early relationships that are almost
heartbreaking, and provide a lot of insight into his life when stacked
against some of the things that his co-stars have accused him of. His
honesty was refreshing, and appreciated.<br /><br /> I, for one, am glad
that William Shatner is still with us, and has decided to share his
experiences with us. Live long and prosper, sir!<br /><br /> St. Martin's Press provided a review copy.</span><br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07FKR2S2D&asins=B07FKR2S2D&linkId=749828446b98c1a1ff58b40757415dd2&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1250166691&asins=1250166691&linkId=61bd663c591a62984d13928af8edc38b&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B079DTW3B1&asins=B079DTW3B1&linkId=7fd43af1f210be26025bafc1b6b19557&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-40660521056121678932018-09-23T14:19:00.000-07:002018-09-23T17:48:41.906-07:00Ex Machina: The Complete Series Omnibus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81HHyl-jwmL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="553" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81HHyl-jwmL.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
One of the most perfect series in the history of comics....?<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Could be.<br />
<br />
One of the curses and blessings of my particular method of reading comics is this: I got bogged down in my reading for a decade or so (Dating, marriage, home ownership, becoming a father...), but the buying continued unabated. So, once I managed to get life under control, and find a way to squeeze in some decent reading time at least a few times a week, I found myself with a backlog that stretched back for a decade-and-a-half. (The oldest comic in my backlog is issue two of one of the many THIRTY DAYS OF NIGHT mini-series, from 2004.) As I accept books for review, and take on proofreading jobs, the backlog of books that I bought to read for myself just keeps growing. The good part of that (Not good for my wallet, but good as a reader...) is, while I have a few dozen issues of EX MACHINA, for example, sitting unread in various piles, collections and omnibus editions are continually being released, allowing me to bypass floppies that I have long since lost track of, and read the whole thing in one big bite.<br />
<br />
And what a bite this was.<br />
<br />
I started reading <i><b>EX MACHINE: THE COMPLETE SERIES OMNIBUS </b></i>on Wednesday. I was home sick, and I just sat and read all afternoon. I read more at night after the kids were asleep. I thought about the book all day on Thursday at work, and sped home to get a few hundred pages in before I had to start dinner. I read Friday afternoon while I did laundry after work. I dreamed about the freaking book while I slept. I stayed up until 3 on Saturday night reading, and only stopped because I fell asleep reading it. Then I leaped out of bed at 9 and read through until almost 4 on Sunday, because I could not go back to work tomorrow without knowing what the hell was going on and how this all turned out. Almost fifteen-hundred pages in five days....for me, that is unprecedented. (Compare that to the WEREWOLF BY NIGHT OMNIBUS, which had a few hundred <i>less</i> pages, and took me nearly two months to complete.) You often hear people say that they stayed up all night reading, this or that book was a page-turner, they read something in one sitting......that's not me. I read a lot, but I have a short attention span, so I usually have between two and six books going at once, and I jump around as I get bored. I rarely stay up reading past the point of exhaustion, and I never think of calling in sick to finish a book, which is what I was pondering doing tomorrow if I couldn't finish this collection today.<br />
<br />
For the uninitiated, EX MACHINA is the story of Mitchell Hundred, a New York City engineer who is called in to look at a strange device found clinging to the side of The Brooklyn Bridge. The mysterious device explodes, injuring and mutilating Hundred, who then finds himself imbued with the power to talk to and control machines. A comic-book fan since his childhood, Hundred decides to build a suit that will enable him to fly, and uses it to fight crime. The series begins after Hundred has retired from his short crime-fighting career, and has just been elected Mayor of New York City. A standard comic-book would have Hundred sneaking out at night to fight crime, but creators Brian K. Vaughan and Tony Harris have more in mind than that. Writer Vaughan starts at the end, with a devastated Hundred telling the story of his time in office, and flash back to various points in Hundred's life, weaving a complex narrative that is part political thriller, part police procedural, part science-fiction epic, and part I-ain't-telling. What I will say is that this series went places that I was not expecting, and had some real GAME OF THRONES style twists and turns.<br />
<br />
Also like GAME OF THRONES, Vaughan and Harris bring their readers along slowly, starting the story as one thing, before slowly allowing it to morph into something else entirely, allowing readers who might not have been on board had that been the status quo from the beginning to slowly warm up to the idea. (I was greatly impressed by how GAME OF THRONES was able to attract viewers that would otherwise have balked at a hard fantasy series. I was a fan of the books, so I was all in for the HBO series, but I watched week in and week out as they lured my wife in with what was basically an epic period drama, and slowly opened her up to accepting things that she ordinarily wouldn't. The idea of dragons turned her right off, but they brought the concept along slowly. First, they were long-extinct. Then they showed the bones. Then they found some eggs. Then the eggs hatched. But they were little and cute.....I remember my wife saying "If they were giant dragons, and she was riding around on them, I'd be out. But they're small throwbacks....I can live with that." Before long, my fantasy and horror hating wife is watching an epic about dragon-riders fighting the living dead. Beautifully done! Which is what Vaughan and Harris do here. I would have been on board with where this series goes, happily so, but I know a lot of other potential readers that would never have checked this book out if that was part of the story from the get-go. I'd love to say more, but......go read this series.)<br />
<br />
Is this collection perfect...? No exactly. It falls just shy of the elusive perfect ten. But it's easier to sustain perfection in twelve issues of WATCHMEN than it is over fifty-four issues, which is what EX MACHINA ran. Losing half a point due to a slow patch or two is barely worth mentioning. What IS worth mentioning is that EX MACHINA stands among the best that comics has to offer. Right up there with WATCHMEN, SANDMAN, Moore's SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING...true groundbreaking <i>literature</i>, with a beginning, middle, and, something that very few comics ever get to have: an ending. One that made me go back and reread chunks of what had gone before, and one that I will probably be pondering and turning over in my mind for weeks and months to come. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.<br />
<br />
<i><b>EX MACHINE: THE COMPLETE SERIES OMNIBUS</b></i> earns a mighty nine out of ten New York City sewer rats:<br />
🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀<br />
<br />
If my opinion has ever influenced you.....buy this book.<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1401280684&asins=1401280684&linkId=28dde5c26f9c76e385fdbe7e2c244b6c&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-91770107692190591532018-09-15T13:04:00.002-07:002018-09-15T13:04:55.707-07:00Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51s9bcU%2BRwL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="325" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51s9bcU%2BRwL.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Heavens to Murgatroyd...the best comic that I've read in ages.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Whoever thought up the concept of the DC/Hanna-Barbera adaptations should get a raise, ASAP. I've only read three, so far, but they've all been outstanding. Oddly enough, all three (Two volumes of THE FLINTSTONES and now <i><b>EXIT STAGE LEFT: THE SNAGGLEPUSS CHRONICLES</b></i>)<i><b> </b></i>have all been written by Mark Russell, who DC needs to lock down to an exclusive contract immediately. This guy is <i>good</i>.<br />
<br />
I have never seen a SNAGGLEPUSS cartoon. All I know about him is that he says "Heavens to Murgatroyd!", and "Exit, stage left!". That is the extent of my Snagglepuss knowledge, aside from one cartoon that I watched for five seconds on YouTube so I could get a feel for what his voice sounded like before I started reading this comic. Luckily, no prior knowledge is needed, since Snagglepuss was not a closeted gay southern playwright in the cartoons. Snagglepuss is the toast of Broadway, but his closeted lifestyle is taking a toll on hm, and the shadow of the McCarthy hearings looms large over his life, as he is called back to testify for a second time, where he must make a terrible choice between saving the life and reputation of his lifelong friend or being outed and ostracized himself.<br />
<br />
How in the hell someone like Mark Russell can get a gig on a book like this and think "OK, Snagglepuss would make a great soapbox to tell a story about McCarthyism, communism, gay rights, racism, bigotry, the arms race, fathers and sons, and the Hollywood blacklist." A more outlandish vehicle for social commentary you could not find, but Russell makes all of the pieces come together perfectly, leading the characters through a minefield of social and career terrors while steering readers towards the inevitable showdown between Snagglepuss and the Government.<br />
<br />
This book is not anything that anyone but Russell could possibly dream up, and that in and of itself is the highest praise I can think of. I could go on and on and tell you how many times I laughed out loud while reading this book, how many times I felt tears welling up in my eyes, how many times I had to stop and ponder some of the issues that the story brings up, but what I really need to convey to you is how important it is that you read this book. In the long run, a SNAGGLEPUSS story is never going to be thought of as being in the same league as MAUS and WATCHMEN, but...it should be. This is a beautiful, emotionally wrenching story about America's past and possible future, and stands as one of the best comics that I've read in years, an achievement that DC Comics should be proud to have published.<br />
<br />
<i><b>EXIT STAGE LEFT: THE SNAGGLEPUSS CHRONICLES</b></i> earns a whopping nine out of ten Snaggleteeth (Read the story, you'll get it then.):🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁<br />
<br />
DC Comics provided a review copy.<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07B8CF53R&asins=B07B8CF53R&linkId=212e657932255ceb501b190d614b9a6a&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1401275214&asins=1401275214&linkId=2fd82fa6bfbc87bb5077e9ba0fb0855c&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-62243753822903248072018-09-14T13:44:00.000-07:002018-09-14T13:44:42.749-07:00Harley and Ivy Meet Betty and Veronica<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/cmx-images-prod/Item/559400/559400._SX1280_QL80_TTD_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="520" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/cmx-images-prod/Item/559400/559400._SX1280_QL80_TTD_.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Coulda been a contender......<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I'm a sucker for a good inter-company crossover. I'm actually just a sucker, period, because I keep getting fished in by crossovers, even though most of them suck. <i><b>HARLEY AND IVY MEET BETTY AND VERONICA </b></i>has a great premise, and stars three characters that are red-hot right now. (Sorry, Ivy.) A quick look at the cover would tell you exactly what I think this book would need to be a success, namely Amanda Conner handling the art. There's a lot more wrong here than just the art, but we can start with that.<br />
<br />
I slogged through a few trades worth of the dreadful HARLEY QUINN series <i>just for Amanda Conner's art</i>. She creates amazing facial expressions, she can tell a story visually, she can handle comedy AND action, and she draws amazing-looking women. When she bailed on the art, I ditched the series.<br />
<br />
On the other hand.......Betty and Veronica, ALL of the Riverdale denizens, for that matter, should have been written and illustrated in the classic Archie comics style. The Betty and Veronica that we get here are the frenemies from RIVERDALE; Rich, bitchy Veronica, and poor, scrappy Betty. If this had been Amanda Conner's Harley and Ivy meeting the classic Archie characters, I believe that this book would have had much greater appeal, and probably would have lived a long life as an evergreen bestseller.<br />
<br />
The story, by Paul Dini and Marc Andreyko, is as dull as watching paint dry. Ivy drags Harley to Riverdale to stop Veronica's father from building a college and shopping center over a swamp, and Zatanna and Sabrina accidentally cause Harley and Ivy to bodyswap with Betty and Veronica. Hilarity does not ensue. Dini used to be a must-read, but those days were gone a few decades ago, and Andreyko was great on MANHUNTER, and nothing else.<br />
<br />
For a book that stars four attractive women, the art choice of Laura Braga is puzzling. Her figures and faces are all interchangeable, and I often had no idea which of the title characters was which, especially when they're all dressed in Harley and Ivy costumes. Her men are no better- Archie and Kevin look exactly the same. I guess that they had to hire a female artist to avoid pissing off the SJW's, but Braga's art looks like the stuff that a mildly talented kid might doodle in high school: passable, but in no way professional-grade. This stuff would never have passed muster in the bronze age of comics.<br />
<br />
<i><b>HARLEY AND IVY MEET BETTY AND VERONICA </b></i>could have been something special, but it turns out to be another slapped-together crossover. If DC and Archie had treated it with some care and assigned top-notch creators, it could have been a winner. As it stands, it earns a paltry four out of ten peach-headed thugs:<br />
🍑🍑🍑🍑<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07B8DV5MF&asins=B07B8DV5MF&linkId=5b116f9eb91443628de534136b10ca77&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1401280331&asins=1401280331&linkId=b7734baf6f04563e0f58c6bb90ead329&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-74689360872309808282018-09-13T16:33:00.001-07:002018-09-13T16:33:39.200-07:00Here There Be Monsters, Part Eight: Vampire Tales, Volume 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71J2b7JHfQL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="506" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71J2b7JHfQL.jpg" width="202" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The Last VAMPIRE TALES volume....? Nooooooooooo!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I enjoyed these three volumes waaaaay more than I thought I would. I hope Marvel eventually gets around to collecting all of their old black-and-white magazines, because I've loved what I've read of them so far. <i><b>VAMPIRE TALES, VOLUME 3</b></i> starts off with an announcement that diminished my enthusiasm a little bit, but the quality of the stories made sure that this volume shared the same rating as the last two.<br />
<br />
That announcement was that the text features that I enjoyed so much were scrapped from the magazine with issue #8, which is where this collection starts off. The text features were a unique aspect, and one that I greatly enjoyed, and I can't help but wonder if their exclusion contributed to the demise of the series with issue #11.<br />
<br />
Regardless, the all-comics version of VAMPIRE TALES managed to maintain a high level of quality, anchored by Morbius, The Living Vampire and Blade, Vampire Hunter, and featuring work by Tony Isabella, Ernie Chan, Don McGregor, Mike Vosburg, Frank Charamonte, Gerry Conway, Joe Staton, Alfredo Alcala, Marv Wolfman, Paul Gulacy, Bob Larkin, Tony Dezuniga, Don Heck, Al Milgrom, Chris Claremont, and Larry Lieber, among others. The writers tried, and for the most part succeeded, in getting away from the traditional (predictable) bloodsucker yarns, mixing things up with a story about a time-tossed vampire in an idyllic future, and a great twist-ending shocker about a desperate vampire who is running out of victims. Doug Moench takes over the Morbius strip from the navel-gazing Don McGregor, and makes each story a blood-drenched epic. Morbius has never been done better. While the previous two volumes were dripping in Satanism, this volume places a peculiar emphasis on addiction, and the pains of withdrawal, all of which occurs in Doug Moench-penned stories. Almost makes you wonder if Moench was writing with first-hand knowledge.....Regardless, he is in fine form in this volume.<br />
<br />
I had to run to Wikipedia when I reached the last page to see if there were any more issues published, but, alas.....VAMPIRE TALES ended with issue #11, which means that we've reached the end of the line in our Crabby Monster Marathon....a tad too early for Halloween, but....we still have plenty of time for more monster mayhem. If you'd like more Horror, drop me a line and let me know.<br />
<br />
<i><b>VAMPIRE TALES, VOLUME 3</b></i> earns a solid eight out of ten crucifixes:<br />
♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07BHXH34R&asins=B07BHXH34R&linkId=9a7302972557b522653ab8ad5be757b7&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0785156046&asins=0785156046&linkId=a8631025be05176cd88154659dfb3f17&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-79159530468048859002018-09-10T16:19:00.000-07:002018-09-10T16:19:13.005-07:00Here There Be Monsters, Part Seven: Vampire Tales, Volume 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51fT1tdRxRL._SX312_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="314" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51fT1tdRxRL._SX312_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="201" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Another collection of 1970's Marvel magazine goodness.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I don't know what possessed me to pass on the VAMPIRE TALES series when the trade paperbacks were released a few years ago, but thank God that the unholy trinity of digital, a 99 cent sale, and a new Kindle Fire tempted me to pick up all three volumes a few months ago.<br />
<br />
<i><b>VAMPIRE TALES, VOLUME 2 </b></i>collects VAMPIRE TALES #'s 4-7, and features such bronze age luminaries as Don McGregor, Tom Sutton, Paul Reinman, Doug Moench, Tony Isabella, Esteban Maroto, Ernie Chan, Boris Vallejo, Win Mortimer, Rich Buckler, Alan Kupperberg, Dick Giordano, Gil Kane, Frank Giacoia, Chris Claremont, Val Mayerik, Marv Wolfman, Steve Gerber, Pablo Marcos, Alfredo Alcala, Billy Graham, Paul Gulacy, and Howard Chaykin. Since we know going in that every tale is going to involve a Vampire, a lot of potential suspense is lost right out of the gate, but the creators are operating at such a high level that you don't even care. Clearly, the work that these men did on VAMPIRE TALES was a labor of love, and it's a shame that the magazine didn't last longer.<br />
<br />
Longtime Crabby Reviewer readers already know that I am none too fond of the majority of 1970's Marvel comics, and a lot of my most-hated creators are on full display here, but their work is, for the most part, better than their usual fare. (I still find Don McGregor to be virtually unreadable, but his endless yammering here is accompanied by artwork that took my mind off of his stoned-to-the-gills, stultifying prose.) There's also the usual assortment of movie, book, and historical non-fiction articles, all of which made for excellent time-capsule reading. I just wish that they had included the letters pages. (And again, I am struck by just how nonchalant these magazines were regarding witchcraft and satanism......one of the columns invites witches and satanists to send in information about their covens for inclusion in a future column. I have no idea how Marvel didn't get into <i>some</i> kind of trouble with this stuff.....)<br />
<br />
<i><b>VAMPIRE TALES, VOLUME 2 </b></i>is a bloody feast of good reading, and earns a robust eight out of ten vampire bats:<br />
🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07BHWWCZK&asins=B07BHWWCZK&linkId=5c4af8c62959a6d46c949ed3d04603f1&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0785153101&asins=0785153101&linkId=c3abda4a3f9e8951fb2a4e6bed879044&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-47784022372197619562018-09-07T16:55:00.000-07:002018-09-07T16:55:38.464-07:00Here There Be Monsters, Part Six: Vampire Tales, Volume 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/511nCoTO6OL._SX320_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="322" height="320" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/511nCoTO6OL._SX320_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="206" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I wish I was old enough to be on board with the Marvel magazines in their heyday, because they were the shit.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I was probably three or four years old when VAMPIRE TALES originally appeared on newsstands, so I almost completely missed out on the Marvel magazine boom. As I got older, I picked up THE SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN, and an occasional issue of the Dracula magazine, but I missed out on the really <i>good</i> stuff. Thankfully, Marvel has been collecting some of their great old magazines recently, and I am loving these collections.<br />
<br />
The great thing about these old Marvel magazines was that they functioned almost as a variety show on paper. <i><b>VAMPIRE TALES, VOLUME 1</b></i> collects the first three issues of VAMPIRE TALES, and those issues contained serialized adventures of Morbius, The Living Vampire and Satana, classic reprints by folks like Stan Lee and Carmine Infantino, adaptations of classic horror stories, movie reviews, photo features about Vampire films and the actors that starred in them, and an ongoing text feature by Chris Claremont. You get a lot of bang for your buck, and if something isn't to your liking, wait a few pages and you'll get something new.<br />
<br />
The talent on display in this collection is staggering: Steve Gerber, Pablo Marcos, Ron Goulart, Roy Thomas, Winslow Mortimer, Gardner Fox, Paul Reinman, Don McGregor, Rich Buckler, John Romita, Jim Steranko, Carlos Garzon, Klaus Janson, Doug Moench, Gerry Conway, Esteban Maroto, Chris Claremont, John Polidori, August Derleth, Stan Lee, and Tony Isabella. The print version is digest-sized, and there have been a lot of complaints that the artwork and text are hard to read at that size. I bought a digital copy when Marvel and Amazon were doing those crazy 99 cent sales, and the collection looks phenomenal on my ten-inch Fire tablet. The bulk of the book is in black-and-white, but the painted covers are featured in full color. There are no extras at all, but I have no complaints. There's a lot of great reading and art here, most of it very high quality.<br />
<br />
One thing that struck me, and I vaguely remember this from when I was little, is the nonchalant inclusion of Satanism in these stories.....At least once an issue, we meet a friendly person who just happens to worship Satan. They have no evil plot, they don't really figure into the story....they're just there to spread the good news about Satan. Odd stuff now, but I remember Satan being everywhere when I was a kid.....THE EXORCIST and ROSEMARY'S BABY had started a satanic panic, and you couldn't throw a rock without hitting something related to Satan. Seeing so much of it in this collection makes you wonder if any of these stoned-out writers were secretly worshiping old scratch....<br />
<br />
<i><b>VAMPIRE TALES, VOLUME 1 </b></i>earns a strong<i><b> </b></i>eight out of ten Satans:<br />
😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07B4JYTPT&asins=B07B4JYTPT&linkId=5ff1722d488d79475ff5aa5ef52b17c0&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=078514644X&asins=078514644X&linkId=203dc982623514250cfbd52ad71162c4&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-1560119265890052072018-09-05T15:42:00.000-07:002018-09-05T15:42:47.108-07:00Here There Be Monsters, Part Five: Werewolf By Night Omnibus <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.net/n_iv/600/2978486.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="530" height="320" src="https://d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.net/n_iv/600/2978486.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><b>WEREWOLF BY NIGHT OMNIBUS</b></i>....a religious text....?<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I call books like this "Religious texts", because I am often heard to exclaim while reading them <i>"Jesus Christ, when the fuck is this going to end???"</i>, or <i>"God, let this END, already!"</i><br />
<br />
<i> </i>On the surface, the idea of a massive omnibus collection the whole run of WEREWOLF BY NIGHT sounds like a winner, and some (A lot) of this book is very good. The problem is, and this is a problem that comic book readers are very familiar with, nothing ever ends. For every SLEEPER, PLANETARY, or WATCHMEN, there are thousands of comics that started strong, and either slowly petered out, quickly flamed away, or just lingered on and on through creative teams that just didn't give a shit. Being a comic book fan is an exercise in instant gratification and low expectations. Usually, the best you can hope for is a good issue or arc before the writer that you love quits, or the penciller botches a deadline, or the book is cancelled.......and reading something like this omnibus, which collects a staggering <u><i><b>fifty-six</b></i></u> (!!!!!) issues, just draws attention to every flaw in the series.<br />
<i> </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<i><b>WEREWOLF BY NIGHT OMNIBUS</b> </i>collects<b> </b>MARVEL SPOTLIGHT #'s 2-4, WEREWOLF BY NIGHT #'s 1-43, MARVEL TEAM-UP #12, TOMB OF DRACULA #18, GIANT-SIZE CREATURES #1, GIANT-SIZE WEREWOLF #'s 2-5, MARVEL PREMIERE #28, and material from MONSTERS UNLEASHED #'s 6-7. The first year or so of the series is driven by the staggeringly beautiful artwork supplied by Horror icon Mike Ploog. His werewolf is a sight to behold, a lean, sinewy creature of hair, fangs, claws, and bestial, inhuman eyes. Writer Gerry Conway is not at his best here, but he keeps the story moving at a brisk pace. Our hero, Jack Russell, inherits the curse of lycanthropy from his late father, fated to become a werewolf when the moon is full starting on his 18th birthday.<br />
<br />
Ploog comes and goes over the course of WBN's first two years, and no other artist that worked on the book is able to come close to his brilliance. There are a handful of issues illustrated by Tom Sutton, who brings his own ghoulish ambiance to the proceedings, but the bulk of the second half of the book is drawn by Don Perlin, whose art is simply too superhero-ish to maintain even a hint of atmosphere. (Perlin varies wildly, depending on who is inking him. He shines brightest when finishing his own pencils.)<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
The writing takes a <i>severe</i> turn for the worse when Doug Moench takes over the book. As a personal aside, I have to say that, despite being born in 1970, I find most Marvel titles from that decade to be unreadable. Stan Lee, Len Wein, and Gerry Conway seem to be all that I can tolerate. Most Marvel scribes from that era drone on and on and on, filling each page to bursting with words, until they threaten to spill forth from the binding. I don't make this assertation lightly.....I love to read. I don't pick up a novel and sniff disdainfully at it because it has too many words. But Marvel in the '70s....TOO MANY FUCKING WORDS. Moench drones on and on and on, making each pace a herculean chore to finish. This book took me forever to read, because I would slog through a hundred pages or so, and just start to zone out. I'd read a page, check my e-mail, read a few pages, check a website or two, read a little, play with my phone......by the end of this nearly 1,200 page monster, I could not....fucking....wait....for it to end.<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
I would love to ask Moench what kind of powerful hallucinogens he was under the influence of when he created "The Amazing Doctor Glitternight", a flying, blind, bald sorcerer who shoots beams out of his chest while he glides around like a flying squirrel.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/glitte7.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/glitte7.gif" data-original-height="207" data-original-width="216" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Or "The Plunder of Paingloss", which features....I don't even know what the fuck it features. It was fucking horrible. Wizards from another dimension kidnap The Werewolf, and he teams up with a glowing black guy, and they fight mute dwarves who ride giant slugs, and a giant robot-statue, and FUCK ME, WHO ELSE BUT ME WOULD SLOG THROUGH THIS SHIT, I ASK YOU????<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://billydunleavy.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/img961.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="785" height="320" src="https://billydunleavy.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/img961.jpg" width="314" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://cmro.travis-starnes.com/images/characters/paingloss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="250" src="https://cmro.travis-starnes.com/images/characters/paingloss.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
The sad thing is, the terrible "Paingloss" story has a promising premise, as Jack and his friend seek out a Satanic priest, hoping to find a cure for Jack's affliction. Could have gone somewhere, but.......Moench is nuts.<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
There are a few gems, such as the crossover with TOMB OF DRACULA, a crazy battle with Spider-Man, and a complete ripoff of THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE. I also got to finally read the LEGION OF MONSTERS story that I've always wondered about, and it is as batshit crazy and awful as you would imagine it to be.<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
To say that this is a mixed bag would be an understatement. I love the idea of this book more than the book itself, but there was enough good stuff early on that it almost balanced out the bad, the ugly, and the terrible that comprises most of the collection. I'm glad that I read this, but I'm even more glad that it's over.<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<i><b>WEREWOLF BY NIGHT OMNIBUS </b></i>has a bark that is louder than it's bite, and earns an anemic five out of ten full moons:<br />
🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
Thank God that's over.<br />
<br />
<b></b><i><b></b></i>
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0785199071&asins=0785199071&linkId=a8a25448cd255c545e6e98094ae94645&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=078519908X&asins=078519908X&linkId=edb702b8b6272ee212a3effd2f2dd1dc&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>
The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-20161319606032942302018-08-24T14:24:00.004-07:002018-08-24T14:24:49.760-07:00Here There Be Monsters, Part Four: The Invincible Iron Man #102<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/0/0b/Iron_Man_Vol_1_102.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20171224171806" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="520" src="https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/0/0b/Iron_Man_Vol_1_102.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20171224171806" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Frankenstein's Monster deserved better.....<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
On the one hand......At least the storyline that was left dangling when THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER was cancelled with issue #18 was resolved <i>somewhere.</i><br />
<br />
<i> </i>On the other hand...why did it have to be <i>here</i>...? The team of writer Bill Mantlo and artist George Tuska was hardly a dream team, and their work here is sub-par, even by their already mediocre standards.<br />
<br />
<i> </i><br />
<i> </i>I had a handful of issues of THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER when I was very young, and I have probably spent the better part of forty years wondering what happened after the cliffhanger in the final issue. The monster had been captured by the evil descendant of his creator, chained up by her dwarf minions....what did they want from him???<br />
<br />
Well, it looks like they just wanted to be his friend and live in peace and harmony, silly!<br />
<br />
That harmony is is disrupted by a bargain-basement Doctor Doom castoff/wannabe named The Dreadknight, whose real name is Bram fucking Velsing. Are you fucking kidding me??? Could this get any lazier and shitty? Well, The Dreadknight wants to enslave The Monster and Victoria Von Frankenstein, because......well, because. Iron man beats him up, and goes on his way. End of story.<br />
<br />
Now, Mantlo COULD have spent these two issues <i>really </i>wrapping up the cancelled series....putting the supporting cast to bed and ending the threat of I.C.O.N., but...fuck those guys! Instead, we get a dopey threat, a pat ending, and an all-around terrible couple of issues. The best part is, Mantlo himself created Victoria Von Frankenstein, who was clearly evil, and then he totally shits on his own character and makes her into a helpless good-girl. Feh. I can understand why these issues weren't included in Marvel's THE MONSTER OF FRANKENSTEIN COLLECTION.(They <u>should</u> have been included, but.....you're not missing anything by not reading these issues.)<br />
<br />
This is the drizzling shits, and earns a stunning zero out of ten winged hell-horses.<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B007XTUAHO&asins=B007XTUAHO&linkId=dc0113fe84e8bea689d6bfa63fa2a9ff&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00ZNZWVPO&asins=B00ZNZWVPO&linkId=e0a3cbc36bb7d0405276986339de99e5&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4530538129753803450.post-81053884877968117672018-08-24T14:24:00.001-07:002018-08-24T14:24:17.892-07:00Here There Be Monsters, Part Three: The Invincible Iron Man #101<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/e/e8/Iron_Man_Vol_1_101.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20171224171727" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="520" src="https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/e/e8/Iron_Man_Vol_1_101.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20171224171727" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Strangest crossover ever...?<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I was forced to seek out two back issues of THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN to get some closure after the abrupt cancellation of THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER with issue #18 of that late, lamented title. Marvel's collected edition team is usually spot-on with their trade paperbacks, but THE MONSTER OF FRANKENSTEIN oddly omitted these two issues, and the lack of resolution was driving me nuts.<br />
<br />
Luckily, Marvel had a great tradition in the '70's of wrapping up cancelled books storylines in other titles, so Frankenstein's creature does get to have his cliffhanger wrapped up. The bad news is,the first part of the two-part storyline is a complete dud.<br />
<br />
This issue runs a mere 17 pages, but writer Bill Mantlo crams a lot in: Iron Man, fresh off of an anniversary-issue throwdown with arch-enemy The Mandarin, steals a jet from the Chinese military, is shot down somewhere in the vicinity of Castle Frankenstein, and is promptly captured by the misshapen dwarves that we met in the last issue of Frankie's title. Shockingly, The Creature, who was a prisoner of these dwarves when we last saw him, is working <i>with</i> them now, and they all make short work of Iron Man. They convince him that they need his help to fight "The Other", who has captured their mistress, Victoria Von Frankenstein. The reveal of just <i>who</i> "The Other" is is quite underwhelming. Annnnd.....cliffhanger!<br />
<br />
Bill Mantlo is in full journeyman mode here. He was always a hit-or-miss writer...you could tell when he gave a shit, and when he was just cranking out words to make a deadline and a buck. This seems like one of the latter cases. Mantlo took over THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER with the final issue of that title, and he threw the book off into a whole new direction, and never got to finish the story. I can't imagine that <u>this</u> is where he intended to go, but......at least he was given an opportunity to wrap up the dangling plotline. Hopefully the conclusion will be better, but I'm not holding my breath. The art, by George Tuska, is an eyesore. I was never a fan, even as a kid. I remember buying THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #100 off of the newsstand, and being very disappointed by his interior art. The Jim Starlin cover baited, and the interior art switched! And a valuable lesson was learned.....<br />
<br />
The cover here is provided by former Frankenstein artist Val Mayerik, and is undoubtedly the best thing about this dud of an issue.<br />
<br />
<i><b>THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #101 </b></i>earns a shameful two out of ten Castles of Frankenstein:<br />
🏰🏰<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B003J44M9Y&asins=B003J44M9Y&linkId=ed60255d9b92a422d5a798ba8f4769f1&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=thecrarev06-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B00ZNZWUS2&asins=B00ZNZWUS2&linkId=c2088d63cafbce2cb9e881540c1bbfcb&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">
</iframe>The Crabby Reviewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00902708680954049015noreply@blogger.com0