Monday, March 24, 2014

Zombie War Complete

 Wow.

 Having just read IDW's dreadful THE OTHER DEAD, I assumed that Kevin Eastman's "lost" zombie epic, finally collected in full by IDW as ZOMBIE WAR COMPLETE, pretty much had to be better.

 Right...?

 Nope.

 It is, in fact, so hilariously bad that I half-way think that it has to be some kind of put-on.

 The book starts out with an Air Force pilot (Jina is all the name that we're given...) sighting an alien craft. Said alien craft somehow manages to bring all of the deceased military veterans ever back to life. JUST military veterans. Who are all buried in full combat gear, with weapons. Even ancient Roman Centurions. Roman Centurions who somehow manage to make their way, seemingly instantaneously, to Washington, D.C., and then New York City. Pretty much everyone on Earth is killed by these pissed-off vets, who the alien resurrected as part of a revenge plot, after an Earth-made space probe crashed on his planet and killed everyone but him. Are you feeling like this was written by a kid yet..? Because it reminds me of the stuff I cranked out when I was ten or eleven. There's page after page of people being gloriously dismembered, lovingly rendered by Kevin Eastman, who provides the trembly-lined, childlike art. The book is also packed to the gills with spelling errors, such as when the lead zombie (The Roman dude..) yells out "....WE ARE TRULY THE INVINCIBLE OF ARMAGGON--!!:"

 Wow.

 I am just...wow. This was some dumbfoundingly bad stuff. I'm embarrassed for IDW, and for Kevin Eastman. Wow.

 IDW provided a review copy. Thank God I didn't pay for this. Although, to their credit, it is fairly cheap.